Audio Evidence

This is the audio evidence of abuse I have managed to process so far.

I have vast amounts I have not gone through yet. It’s quite difficult to listen to and work with because it re-exposes me to the abuse, so I’m working through it bit by bit as I can cope. If you would like to help, please contact me at knotaman at outlook dot com.

July 26 2015 – Duration 0:17 – Fall on the ground over there and die.

February 25 2015 – Duration 3:22 – You are supposed to be the man.
(AKA: I’m angry that you don’t accept patriarchal male privilege.)

To recover from that and learn what a man is I found this.

I am Not a Man

What does it mean when a woman says I’m not a man?

In 2015 I was told “You’re not a man”. I’m now going through all my evidence of abuse and after listening to the recording of that, I started to ponder.

If I had said “You’re not a woman”, then I imagine the response would a confused look, an assumption that I was unsuccessfully trying to be abusive and insulting, but also an angry request to clarify what I meant. Did I mean that she does not have female genitals? Did I mean that she is not conforming to the gender stereotype of a woman? Do I mean that she’s an uncaring person or maybe that she’s a bad mother? It wouldn’t necessarily be obvious what I was trying to say. – Even so, a seemingly reasonable and useful response might be “Oh, I didn’t know that. How would I be different if I was a woman?”

It doesn't have to be physical to be abuse
Emotional Abuse

But she said “You’re not a man” and my clarifying questions at the time weren’t answered enough for me to have much of an idea what she meant. She seemed to be very confident that she was right and had said similar things many times in the past.

So here I am introducing myself to the world.

I am Knot Aman, I live in Queensland, Australia, and I’m here to tell my story.